The Christian Label
I’ve been quiet here in the Faith section for a few weeks. Something happened recently that I’ve needed some time to mull over. I haven’t yet come to a point of resolution, but I’m beginning to think I’m supposed to live with this dissonance for a while.
About two years ago, I received a call from someone who wanted to meet with me about a potential opportunity to do some tax consulting work. Even though my husband, Derek, is the one still doing tax work full-time, I took the meeting.
I can’t remember exactly how it came up, but within the first 30 minutes of our lunch meeting, my potential client revealed to me that he was a Christian. We talked for a while about our churches, a Christian leadership conference we had both attended and a little bit about what it looks like to live out our faith in the business world.
I left feeling like it was a Divine appointment. I was excited about not only the possibility of working with him, but also of Derek and I developing a friendship with him.
My anticipation slowly faded in the weeks and months that followed. It was little things at first. He was not a man of his word, often saying he would do something that he never did. He would ask for something, and then never reply when it was delivered.
Then, I began to hear secondhand from his staff that he often acted in a less-than ethical, and sometimes downright unkind and hurtful way. These were people to whom he had routinely professed his Christian faith. Even though I internally cringed at the witness he was baring, I wondered if it was unintentional on his part. Maybe he was just oblivious. Maybe he had so much on his plate, things were falling off without him knowing.
Then, in December, while discussing a tax consulting project, Derek and I witnessed firsthand the behavior we had heard about. We watched him lie. We experienced his temper. We saw him unapologetically choose to be unethical; even as we gently urged him to reconsider. His behavior negatively impacted our business and our family. That was upsetting, yes. But, more than that I have been troubled by the fact that this man finds ways, some not so subtle, to let everyone around him know he is a Christian. Then he lies, cheats, belittles and demeans the very people he is supposedly witnessing to.
Then I start to think about how he is a leader in his church and, my blood begins to boil.
Just when I think I’ll explode with disgust, I remember, I am better than no one. I, too have failed to be a good witness to Love. Then, I start to feel like I should crawl into a hole and hide forever.
As I was sharing my thoughts with some friends, one of them reminded me of the wonderful hymn “They’ll Know We are Christians by Our Love.” So, I find myself less and less interested in telling people that I’m a Christian and more and more interested in really loving – loving my Savior, loving people and loving justice.
I know I’ll always be an imperfect testimony to Love, but I’m going to bathe in grace and keep on trying.
How do you handle it when you see a fellow follower of Christ making really bad decisions? Do you ever shudder at the thought that you also have not been a very good testimony to Love? I’d really love to hear your thoughts?
You forgot to mention that he was a no-good thief as well. Oh well, I’ve moved on.
This articulates why I fail SO often to declare my Christian faith.
It is not because I don’t love and feel loved by God. It is because the world probably needs less declarations and more walking about, doing, transforming, acts of love.
Thanks, Lulastic. That’s exactly it. It’s not that I’m no longer a follower of Jesus – I am. But, I want to do that walking, doing, transforming stuff instead of just gabbing away. It means so much to me and is a huge comfort that you understand where my heart is with this!
I would like to talk with you sometime about what you describe here. I work at a church. I have seen and experienced what you describe so often that I feel confused, bewildered, angry and frightened. These bad behaviors go beyond simple human error, which we are all capable of, into deliberate malice. One would assume that we are trying to live our faith, despite our fallen natures. One would assume that we would try to do good and avoid evil. It is shocking and painful when we realize this isn’t necessarily true. Sometimes I wonder what bad behaviors that I might be engaging in … am I just blind to my own faults? I hope that I am honest, trustworthy and kind. I try to be. When confronted with habitual unchristian behavior I’m left feeling defeated. I’ll stop here. I don’t think that I have done justice to this subject though. I can say that the Hoffman family give strong witness to the rest of us and are a blessing in the lives of all who know them.
Nena, I’d love to sit and chat with you about this sometime. I certainly pray that I will have eyes to see the ways I have fallen short so that I can confess and work toward healing. And, I thank you so much for your encouragement, but I know we Hoffman’s have fallen short at times, too. Just praying our way through.
What a completely frustrating situation. I get the sense that he was using his faith as a marketing ploy – like, of course you’d want to work with this guy over the other guy, because this guy is a CHRISTIAN tax consultant. Sigh. I’m so turned off by that, even as I admit that I might also be drawn to working with Christian professionals.
There are moments in my life I think, Oh, I’m so glad that no one there knows that I’m a Christian, and a Christian leader at that, though I hope and pray that these moments are exceptions, not the rule!
Thank you so much, Katherine, for your empathy and understanding. It was such a hard situation. And, your right – I think he used his faith to try and convince everyone he was a “good guy”! I had to laugh when I saw your last comment. I have a friend who says he refuses to put the Christian Fish symbol on his car cause he knows his driving isn’t a good “testimony.” And, I know I’d be in real trouble if there was really a label on my shirt all the time! Thanks again for you encouragement!
I am not a Christian, so I have an outsider’s view on it. In my 41 years on this earth, I’ve found that most of the people who feel the need to explicitly state that they are a member of an organized religion typically do not live by its tenants.
I have many Christian friends, including some Mormons. They’re my friends because they treat others with respect and have good ethics. I’ve worked with Buddhists and Muslims. One former co-worker attested often and loudly to be a “Born Again Christian.” Ironically, he was one of the most amoral individuals I’ve ever met.
This may not always be true, of course. It’s only based on one personal experience. However, if I may offer a suggestion, I would just put much less faith on what someone says they’ll do, and wait and watch how they actually behave in both their business and personal life before getting close to them.
Anyone can CLAIM to walk the walk, but it doesn’t happen by saying it… you have to do it.
I applaud those of you who strive to live by Jesus’ teachings. I think they’re a good credo. Just because I don’t have a faith doesn’t mean that others shouldn’t.
Best of luck to you in all of your endeavors.
Thanks so much Kyle for your thoughtful and wise insight. I’ve had very similar experiences myself. You’ve helped to further motivate my desire to do less “talking” and more “walking.”
I greatly appreciate you taking the time to share your experience and encouragement!