LM’s Birth Story – Part One

As strange as it may sound, I spent more than three years preparing for Little Man‘s birth. AE wasn’t even a month old when I began researching. I wanted more children, but I was worried about the potential risks to me and my future babies of accumulating cesarean births. So, I began planning for a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean).

We waited the recommended two years before even trying to get pregnant. When I happily saw two pink lines on a pregnancy test shortly after AE’s second birthday, I returned to the physician and midwife practice I used for her birth. I had some reservations about how supportive they would be of a VBAC, but they were familiar with my previous pregnancy complications, so I decided to at least start there.

I discussed my VBAC wishes with the practitioners I saw in the early months of my pregnancy and received support for my plan from all of them. At the end of my first trimester, we learned that I had a front lying placenta. The midwife I met with at that appointment told me they would highly recommend a VBAC, because of the position of my placenta. “Great we’re all on the same page,” I replied.

I continued to believe we were in agreement for the next five months. Then, at my 32 week appointment, the OB told me I needed to get an ultrasound to confirm fetal position since my daughter was breech (and we didn’t find out until 36 weeks). That was the beginning of a major battle for my VBAC.

I had the recommended ultrasound at 33 weeks. While my baby boy was head down, he had a nuchal cord (his cord was wrapped around his neck), and he was measuring big (about 36 weeks). Neither of these things deterred my VBAC plans. Many babies are born with the cord around their neck. And, the baby’s size is not one of the risk factors for uterine rupture. I figured God gave me these big hips for a reason! Not to mention the fact that ultrasound weight measurements are notoriously inaccurate.

But, my OB practice insisted I see a perinatologist. I knew I would not get much support for my VBAC plan there, but when doctors are threatening you with potential complications, you tend to agree to the tests they suggest.

Well, one ultrasound led to another at 36 weeks. Little Man was napping during that one, causing the doctor to worry about his lack movement and order a non-stress test. Then, his heart rate dropped during a contraction, causing them to admit me to the hospital for prolonged monitoring. Upon discharge, they gave me orders for twice weekly stress tests. Those led to worries about my fluid level and his growth.

It was One. Thing. After. Another. At every appointment (and I had three a week those last three weeks) the threat of sending me for an emergency c-section loomed. I can’t begin to express the incredible stress this caused me. I felt like someone was holding a gun to my head, or more accurately a scalpel to abdomen saying, “Go into labor now or else!!”

During this time, I was having plenty of contractions. They would regularly increase in duration and frequency, then peter out completely. I tried everything to naturally induce labor. I walked the aisles at Target (cause it was just too dang hot to walk outside). I drank raspberry leaf tea and ate spicy food and pineapple. I took primrose oil and spent a small fortune in acupuncture treatments. I nursed my daughter. You name it, I tried it. But, fear and anxiety overwhelmed me.

I knew I needed to get my head in the right place, but it’s so difficult when doctors are talking about stillborn risks. I wrote a letter to my body, making peace with my body’s beauty and affirming my love and respect for it.

I also made an appointment with one of the OBs in my practice that I trusted. She was calm and affirming. She took the pressure off and told me I could have another week and a half before I had to schedule a c-section. She also stripped my membranes.

I left that appointment feeling hopeful. I went home and cleaned my entire house! After dinner, I gave AE her bath, told her a bedtime story and rolled over to nurse her when my water broke – all over my freshly made bed!!

Derek called our amazing doula, while I tried to get AE to sleep. As she nursed, I could feel the contractions intensifying. It seemed like it was taking forever for her to fall asleep.

As I laid there nursing, I had such a mix of emotions.

Excitement. No matter what, LM was going to he born in the next 24 hours!

Fear. What about uterine rupture, shoulder dystocia and even still birth?  Would my body do the work of dilating without the use of pitocin? (They can’t induce labor if you’ve had a previous c-section.) Is he moving, was that a kick? Please baby, move for mama!

And, confidence. I can do this. My body was built for this!

AE finally surrendered to sleep at 9:40. I had nursed for an hour after my water broke. Not only was the nursing probably key in getting my labor going, I’m so grateful I got to help my sweet girl off to dreamland on our last night just the two of us.

We arrived at the hospital shortly after 10pm. Labor and Delivery was so full, they didn’t have a room for me. So, I headed to triage.

The nurse did all of her intake questions while we waited for the midwife to come in. At one point, the nurse made a funny face while she was looking at the monitor report and I worriedly asked, “Is something wrong?” My doula said, “Don’t worry, Jen, if something was wrong, lots of people would come flooding in here in a hurry.”

I would soon get to see exactly what she meant.

You can read the conclusion here! (My friends and I joked the last few weeks of my pregnancy that LM and I were writing a birth novel instead of a birth story, so I’m breaking this up into two posts!)