The Practice of Remembering I Have as Much to Learn as to Teach
The amazing Sarah Bessey is hosting a Practices of Parenting Carnival this week. Basically, we’re all sharing the stuff that we do – or try to do – to help us enjoy parenting in the trenches right now. I’m thrilled to be participating with this post, and I’d love to see your contribution, too. Check out this link for instructions on how to participate.
As the mother of a toddler, I’m constantly reminded of how much my daughter learns from me. I see it when she calls her daddy for dinner, “Derek, dinner’s ready.” (Oops, I guess I should always call him daddy in front of her). It’s evident when she grabs my powder brush and applies her own make-up. I even see it when she says “I do more work,” as she bangs away on my laptop.
All of those examples make it easy to believe the lie that, as a parent, I have (or should have) all the answers. I fool myself into thinking that I am the teacher and she is the student. Mother knows best, right? Well, sometimes, but not always.
I don’t enjoy the way I relate to my daughter (or any fellow person) when I act from the belief that I am the decider of right and wrong. There is no ability to yield, surrender or submit when I believe the lie that I am always the teacher and my child is always the pupil. There is a void of grace when I pretend that I have all the answers. There is an absence of intimacy with my daughter when I live the mantra “my way or the highway.”
When I instead embrace that this beautiful child is quite possibly the best teacher I’ve ever had, I enjoy mothering so much more.
When I approach our relationship with a willingness to learn, grace abounds. And we both thrive in its light.
When I do something that upsets her, I give myself permission to consider submitting to the lesson she is trying to impart.
When she refuses to do something I ask, I wonder if there is a lesson in the strife for me.
When I really listen to her words, whether spoken or sung, I often discover a truth that I need to embrace.
When I recognize that God most high uses my little girl to teach me anew about his love, I fall to my knees in praise for the blessing that mothering is.
Yes, I enjoy mothering so much more when I remember that I have as much to learn as to teach.
What practices do you employ to enjoy parenting? We’d all love to hear! Head on over to Sarah Bessey to share your wisdom with us!
Found you through the carnival. This post is timely for me, as I just realized that my daughter is my best teacher when it comes to cultivating joie de vivre. I watched her use the few minutes before we exited the van for preschool to simply bask in the sunlight and the breeze coming through her window. Her eyes were closed contentedly, and there was a big smile on her face. I looked at her and marveled. What an amazing lesson to learn!
I agree, Kim. I don’t think I really understood the meaning of joe de vivre until I saw it in my daughter. So, clearly we all have it at some point but age must make some of us (like me) forget! Here’s to our little ones teaching us! Thanks so much for stopping by!
I think of this often, too. We get so spastic that we just react, which in my case at least means that I have to be willing to apologize. And I think that’s also a good lesosn for children. It is fun to learn through our kids. Although I must admit that this mornign when my almost-3-year-old was refusing to put on his underwear, I had trouble looking for a lesson in it for me. 🙂
Ha ha ha, Kathleen. Yes, there are some times when mommy is right – and the need for underwear would usually be one of those times. 😉 Thanks so much for sharing your experience!
When I think about the things I learn from AE, the first thing that comes to mind is her laid back attitude. When I feel like I’m running late, getting out of the house feels like that scene from “Home Alone” where everyone is racing around in a panic because they all slept in. Not AE! She tackles one thing at a time in those situations (at her own pace). What good is all of that hurrying doing for me? None. In fact, it’s probably wrecking my nervous system. I’ll just plan to leave a few minutes earlier so I can take a cue from AE and relax as I get ready.
Oh, Derek. You’re such a good daddy. We’re both so blessed to have AE as a teacher and I couldn’t imagine a better fellow student.
Thank you for such a great perspective. It is so easy to get high and mighty. God uses my children, this I know. Thank you for the reminder to slow down and learn from them today.
Thank you Sarah for your kind words. I know the thrown of high and mighty well!
Oh, man. I LOVE THIS. I am in the same place – and it just keeps getting better the older they get, I hear. Thank you so much!
Sarah, I was going to say, I can’t wait to see how much better it gets as they get older, but ya know what – I can wait! Thank you!
Thank you so much for hosting such an amazing carnival. Your community is just beautiful!
This bit –
“When I recognize that God most high uses my little girl to teach me anew about his love, I fall to my knees in praise for the blessing that mothering is.”
made my eyes water a little bit.
It is so, SO, true. Takes my breath away sometimes.
(Also, gorgeous blog!)
OH, thank you so much Lulastic! It does, it really leaves me breathless on a near daily basis.
And, thanks for the blog love. My designer (http://about.me/artisticdork) is pretty awesome!
I am so in love with this. Such truth that I knew already, but put into these words? I feel like it’s brand new. I will look at my children anew tomorrow, as my teachers. God uses the humblest beings to impart his message of grace and love. Gorgeous picture of parenting.
Kim, tears – just tears. I’m so honored that my words helped you articulate what you already knew in your heart. Thank you so much!
Isn’t this a great carnival? My baby has yet to speak, but I feel that he’s already taught me a lot about priorities and living in the moment.
Lisa, it is awesome! And, you’re so right. I most certainly started learning from AE right from the start!
This is a great truth – thank you for sharing it!
Thank you for this reminder!!
Oh, yes! I call my littles our “little teachers” all. the. time. Sometimes I wonder how God ever spoke to me or shaped me or convicted me before I had them. (haha) Obviously He can teach us through anyone (a donkey?) but I find during this phase of life so many of my lessons are coming from my kids. Love this “practice” so much. Thank you.
Adriel, I wonder the same thing. I have been a follow of Christ for as long as I can remember, but I feel like I knew nothing of God’s love until I became a mom. Probably cause I had blinders on, but I’m so thankful for my new eyes! Thank you for your kind words!