Your Favorite Part

One of my parenting intentions is to help cultivate an attitude of gratitude in AE. I don’t want her to just say the words “thank you.” It’s my hope and prayer that those words would flow not from obligation, but from a genuine feeling of thankfulness.

So, much to some generous givers’ disappointment, I try not to tell her to say thank you. Instead, I work to help her identify the feeling of gratitude.

If a playmate shares a toy with her, for example, first, I say thank you to them. Then I turn to her, “AE, Ben just shared his truck with you. How do you like playing with the truck?”

After she replies, I might say, “That was so kind of Ben to stop playing with it so you could have a turn!” To which she often replies, “Yeah! Thank you, Ben!”

But, the saying of the words “thank you” is just one by-product of an attitude of gratitude. Gratitude also breeds contentment. As I’ve shared before, I believe all-consuming discontent is a weapon of mass destruction. AE is most likely to freely and happily extend grace and love to others if she has a strong sense of contentment.

So, we also have a practice of asking a simple question to cultivate gratitude and breed contentment. At the table, at nap time, before bed, in the car – I routinely ask her “What was your favorite part?”

A few weeks ago, we were on our way home from a “challenging” music class. She ran out of the classroom and toward the front door multiple times during class. When we were getting in the car at the end, I was exhausted from chasing her. My words were short. I wanted to rush home, feed her and get her down for a nap.

As we were driving home, more out of routine than intention, I asked, “What was your favorite part about music class today?” I was so tense, I didn’t even listen to her reply. But, I did hear the question she asked after she was done. “What was your favorite part, mommy?

I resisted the temptation to say, “Well it wasn’t chasing you, that’s for sure!” Instead, I quietly pondered her question. As I began to tell her about my favorite part, I could feel the tension melt from my body. My tone softened and my mood shifted.

The rest of our day was changed by that question. So, each time I ask this question of her now, I carefully listen to her replies. And, I appreciate that together, we are cultivating attitudes of gratitude that enable us to extend to others the grace and love we have so richly received.

How do you cultivate an attitude of gratitude – in yourself or your kids? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments?