You’re Doing What?! The Cosleeping Edition

As we walked in the door for our birthing class, our instructor passed me a magazine she was reading. “Check this out,” she said with such enthusiasm. “How cool is this?”

It was an advertisement for the Humanity Family Sleeper. I smiled and politely said, “Oh, we’re not going to cosleep. We’ll keep the baby in the room with us for a while, but not in the bed.” I made that decision when I was first exposed to the practice a decade earlier.

My opposition was not born out of research or serious contemplation. I did see passing headlines about the dangers of cosleeping. I did hear people occasionally say you’ll never get the kid out of your bed. But, more than anything, I just thought it was strange.

Then, along came AE. During the first 12 hours after birth, she did sleep on and off in the bassinet. But, sometime during the last half of her first day, that practice stopped completely. She literally would NOT sleep unless we were holding her.

We even called the nurse into our room the second night asking, “What is wrong with this baby? She wakes up and cries as soon as we lay her down!”

In a somewhat demeaning tone, she instructed “Changer her diaper, nurse her and try again. Babies cry, you know?”

We struggled through those first few days. I don’t think I slept more than 15 minutes at a time. On the third day, my lactation consultant  an angel came to our house. After we finished with all my nursing questions, she asked “How’s she sleeping?”

I started crying. “She won’t sleep unless I’m holding her. I know it’s terrible, but I think I need to find a way to sleep with her in the bed.”

Now, I know people talk about the voice of God being loud, deep and masculine. But, in that moment, He used the soft, sweet voice of this woman.

“Why is it bad, Jen? What is your intuition telling you to do?” she gently inquired.

“Well, aren’t there a ton of safety concerns? Will she want to sleep in my bed forever? I never planned to cosleep.” I cried back.

I distinctly remember her reply, “Hmmmm.” Then she paused. “You know, I believe it is important to listen to that voice in your gut that prompts you to do something. Can you hear it? You can trust it, sweetie!”

In hindsight, I realize this awesome woman was teaching me to follow my intuition. She didn’t say “Yes, cosleep” – though I know she supports the practice. She refused to allow me to substitute her voice for my own intuition. (See – she was an angel!)

When she saw I was still struggling. She suggested I look for information on safe cosleeping, and then check in with my gut again.

And, that’s exactly what I did. Before long we were the proud owners of our own Humanity Family Sleeper. And thankfully, we were all sleeping!

The most amazing thing happened when I made the decision to follow my intuition and cosleep. I was surrounded with support!

Derek, who was also previously opposed to the practice, was suddenly on board! A warm, genuine smile emerged on his face when he would look over at AE sleeping next to me. He was regularly moved to grab his camera and photograph us sleeping.

The only baby book I had purchased (Dr. Sears’ Baby Book – thanks again to my birthing class teacher who included it as required reading for the class) was supportive, even encouraging of cosleeping.

My mom told me endlessly how proud she was of me and the way I was making parenting choices.

I’ve told many people that we cosleep. Turns out, the loudest, “You’re doing what?” question came from inside my own head. Thankfully, I learned early on to listen to the voice a little deeper down.

P.S. This post is part of a series talking about finding confidence in the face of “You’re Doing What?” questions. Check out other posts in this series here.

Anyone else overcome the voices in their head to follow their parenting intuition? I’d love to hear from you in the comments!