Delayed Gratification…Purpose in Waiting

John & Sherry - Here to pump <clap> you up!

I’m a fairly even-tempered mama. My road to motherhood wasn’t easy. For a long time I feared I wouldn’t be able to have children. So, when we hit the inevitable bumps on the behavior road, I try to respond from a place of gratitude that I even have AE to travel this road with.

But, there is one very normal toddler behavioral obstacle that seems to push all the wrong buttons for me. AE wants what she wants, when she wants it – which is always NOW! If she asks for a snack, and I try to wash my hands first, she shouts “Cheese, cheese, cheese!” If Daddy has to finish a few more minutes of work, but she wants him to play, she cries her little heart out.

Oddly enough, she responds better to an outright “No” than she does a “Wait, please.” When the answer is no, she easily switches gears and moves on to something else. But, when we ask her to wait, she gets a terrible case of tunnel vision and can’t hear or see anything but what she has asked for.

When she has trouble flexing her patience muscles, I quickly feel the warm sensation of anger course through my body. Before long, we are both rockin’ a pretty serious temper tantrum.

During a recent morning filled with impatience, both hers and mine, the irony of the situation finally occurred to me. Could it be that AE’s trouble with delayed gratification bothers me so much because I also struggle with it? Yup, methinks I found the source of the problem.

While some people deal with an inability to wait by throwing prudence to the wind and over-extending themselves (financially, emotionally, physically, etc.), I handle it a little differently. I may not be impulsive, but I do hit the pause button on happiness. Yes, I am the queen of “I’ll be happy when…” land. And this is a land that’s hard to escape. There are many people at its borders who shout “You need x, y or z to be happy!”

Thankfully, two ambassadors from a very different land send me daily escape maps. In Young House Love land waiting is common. There are goals and dreams, and work being done toward those, but there is also patience, reserve. And, there is no happiness pause button.

The voices of “I’ll be happy when…” land are silenced when John and Sherry show that there is great purpose in waiting. Whether waiting for a major kitchen renovation or a book deal, they regularly remind us of a truth so often forgotten in today’s culture – good things come to those who wait.

While struggles with delayed gratification are completely age appropriate for my two-year-old, there is little hope she will outgrow this phase if I don’t model it for her. So, I’m so thankful that John and Sherry regularly show me, and the world, that waiting, in and of itself, is gratifying.

Are you a resident, current or former, of “I’ll be happy when land…” What escape routes have you discovered? What good things have come to you when you’ve waited patiently? I’d love to hear!

P.S. This post is the final one is a series called “Why I Love Young House Love.” And yes, I am asserting that two of my favorite bloggers are changing the world, one DIY project at a time.

*Disclaimer: The Hanz & Franz characters are property of NBC Universal (even if they’ve long forgotten them). This photo is an artist rendering of what they might look like today, with permission from Sherry & John.